THE AVIATOR REVISITED, RECALLED, WITH MATHEMATICAL WHIMSY PART 2

YESTERDAY, A RECENT REVIEWING OF The Aviator included my own encounters with Howard Hughes’ aircraft. We continue here in Part 2 with a Hercules H-4 fantasy, a “Guy and Doll” flight beyond its brief 1947 liftoff in Los Angeles Harbor.

A Bit of Hercules H-4 Whimsy. “A ‘Spruce Goose’ Fantasy” was posted here on August 4, 2013. This tale of mine had originally appeared as a FlightSim.com “Fly-In” posting, an online entertainment among enthusiasts. I repost it here for fun:

My GMax Hughes Flying Boat lifts off Los Angeles Harbor on November 2, 1947. (What’s that ocean liner and dome doing there? Ask Microsoft.)

Then the Hughes Flying Boat was to fly no more—until Howard decided to take it to a Flightsim.com Fly-In.

What about its passengers?

“Easy,” said Howard’s publicist (and you must remember that while most aviators don’t have publicists, most movie moguls do), “Let’s turn this into a media event and invite only dolls, the women with whom you’ve been romantically linked.”

Actually the publicist didn’t say “with whom you’ve been romantically linked.” Movie mogul publicists almost never say “with whom.”

“No,” said Howard. “I want some pals along too, sort of a ‘Guy and Doll’ flight.”

And look how close he came to naming an immensely successful Broadway show! Even Howard wasn’t perfect.

“Okay,” said his publicist, puffing on his Cuban cigar. (Back in those days, publicists were always puffing on Cuban cigars. And, imagine, this was in California! Now one must drive to Nevada for a smoke.) “Here’s the pitch,” he continued, “Invite your dolls and their guys. That is, anyone you’ve been linked with romantically, plus those who have been linked romantically with them, if you get the drift of my meaning….”

“Fine,” said Howard. “Round them all up. We leave Los Angeles Harbor at dawn tomorrow.”

“In fact,” Howard continued “let’s invite the dolls I’ve ever been linked with romantically, plus the guys who’ve ever been linked romantically with them, plus the dolls who’ve ever…. You get the picture!”

“But, boss,” the publicist objected (for, little known to Howard, this Cuban-cigar-chomping guy also had a Ph.D. in mathematics, “you don’t realize what you’re getting into. These numbers add up fast!”

Howard scratched his head; his fingernails were still short in those days.

“You see, boss,” said his publicist, warming to his subject (as well as to his Cuban cigar, which was already warm), “let’s call Link 1 all the dolls with whom you’ve been romantically involved, then Link 2 all the guys with whom they’ve been linked, then Link 3 all the dolls that those guys have been linked with, and so on.” (You’ll notice only hetero relationships were discussed in those days.)

“And your point is?” said Howard.

“Well, boss,” said his publicist, his Cuban cigar positively aglow with mathematical enthusiasm, “these links are an infinite series of the form ‘summation of L to the k, k running from 0 to infinity.’ ”

“Eh?” said Howard.

His publicist chomped on his Cuban cigar and computed. Finally, he said “Limit your invitation list to links of order 3 or less.”

Above, Howard (Leonard DiCaprio) and Ava Gardener (Kate Beckinsale) from The Aviator. Below, my Howie at the H-4 controls. 

And so it was that the Hughes Flying Boat left on its “Guy and Doll” flight with Howard himself again at the controls—and a passenger list of almost 600 people.

“My Hughes Flying Boat is designed to carry 700 troops,” said Howard to his publicist, “Don’t fret; be happy.”

And notice again how close he approached immortality by almost coming up with a pop song title. Close, but no Cuban cigar.

The End.

The Fable’s Source Material. Indeed, I didn’t make all this stuff up.

AbeBooks lists the book. It’s a hoot. ds

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2026.