SAY THAT AGAIN PART 2

JASON VANRULER ENCOURAGED ALL THIS with his article Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships. Here in Part 2, his PATHS acronym is expanded (in the quoted passages). My EDITS are left unadorned. All in good communications fun.

“Peacemaker. Strength: Creates peace and eases tension in difficult or trying moments. Opportunity: Can avoid necessary conflict, which delays resolution and repair.”

Alas, the peace pipe might only generate smoke, not any solutions. 

A hep alternative. Image from dezeen.com.

“Advocate. Strength: Focused on justice, fairness, and upholding morals; advocates for their beliefs. Opportunity: Can present as intense or overpowering or advocate when it’s not needed.”

A lot would seem to depend upon whose justice, fairness, and morals are being proposed. What to do if these beliefs are antithetical to many of society’s acceptable ones?

Image from The New Yorker. 

“Thinker. Strength: Focused on logic, thoughts, facts, and getting things correct. Opportunity: Can miss cues for feelings and appear distant or emotionally unavailable.”

I feel most aligned with these tenets of logic, thoughts, and facts. Does this lack of empathy identify me as a real-life Mr. Spock? 

Image from Pdb.

“Harbor. Strength: Creates a safe space for others to go deep and talk about feelings and emotions. Opportunity: May struggle to express their own needs, communicate boundaries, or be the focal point of a conversation.” 

To me, this one is akin to the peacemaker: Seemingly, they’re both creating a speaking platform without necessarily doing any worthwhile speaking whilst there.

“Spark. Strength: Brings lots of energy, creativity, and momentum to conversations. Opportunity: Can struggle with consistency and initiating difficult conversations.”

I lean toward this one, just as I like the logic and facts of the thinker. As for consistency, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” The trick, of course, is separating the foolish from the meaningful.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803–1882, American essayist, lecturer, philosopher, poet, Transcendentalist. Portrait by J.J. Hawes 1880 via Wikipedia.

Not Just Talking, But Listening Too. VanRuler describes, “Healthy communication is as much about listening as it is about talking. Each path speaks a different ‘language,’ and the more fluent you become in other styles, the better you can bridge the gap between you and the people you care about.”

Advice: “Thinkers need time to process. Give them space instead of pressure. Sparks need engagement for connection. Respond to them with energy rather than silence. Peacemakers need and prioritize safety. Approach them with grace, not urgency.”

VanRuler posits, “When you understand your communication type and the communication type of others, you begin to see that most disconnect and conflict stem from differences in approach rather than intentions.”

Well, maybe. I must wonder when the disconnect and conflict are political in nature.

VanRuler continues, “To have deeper, more fulfilling relationships, we must understand our own and one another’s paths. To find out your main communication type, take the assessment.”  

Full disclosure: Curious as I am about identifying my communication style, my inherent distrust of phishing precludes my completing the assessment. Had it not required name and email address (these days, salable data), I would have continued. 

As it stands, I thank Jason VanRuler (and Nice News) for thoughtful insights. ds

 © Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2026