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I AM THANKFUL to find humor in presidential matters of late. Here are tidbits, both Red and Blue, most of them recent, one vintage, from a variety of sources.

On Oscar-Winning Parasite. Trump commented, “What the hell was that all about?” From the film’s U.S. distributor: “Understandable, he can’t read.”

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“Let’s get Gone with the Wind back, please,” Trump continued. John Oliver on Last Week Tonight, February 24, 2020, responded, “Of course Trump likes Gone With the Wind. He likes his movies like he likes his rallies: excruciatingly long, incredibly racist, and centered around a rich creep who leaves a woman crying in a mansion…. It’s so on-brand!”

On Trump’s Mod Modi Tour. On The Daily Show, February 23, 2020, Trevor Noah said one goal in Trump’s visiting India was “to get a copy of his Kama Sutra signed.”

Trevor Noah on The Daily Show, February 23, 2020. Image from

On Trump Visiting Gandhi’s Home. According to Seth Meyers, “Said Trump, ‘Cool. Where’s he live now? Nicer place?’ ”

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Jimmy Kimmel: “You know you’re a mess when even this guy [Boris Johnson] is making fun of you.”

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On Taj Mahals. Seth Meyers, February 24, 2020, said, “It must have been upsetting to Trump that that Taj Mahal has been there for 400 years, but his declared bankruptcy after a year.”

On Colonial History. “Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports….”

Oops. This wasn’t a comedian’s comment. It’s Trump’s “Salute to America,” July 4, 2019. By the way, in his presentation he garbles Washington’s 1776 Delaware crossing with the Cornwallis surrender in Yorktown 1781 with the Fort McHenry ramparts of the War of 1812. But what the hey?

The Dem’s Debate. The Democrat presidential contenders generated great lines as well. On The Daily Show right after the Charlestown debate, February 25, 2020, Trevor Noah said, “I haven’t seen white people go at each other that hard since khakis were on sale at Banana Republic.”

On Bernie’s Sartorial Style. Jimmy Fallon quipped, “You could tell Bernie was feeling good. Before the debate, he picked up a new suit from the dumpster behind T.J. Maxx.”

On Bloomberg’s Schtick. In The New York Times, February 26, 2020, Michelle Goldberg said of Michael Bloomberg, “With all his money he should really be able to hire someone to write him better jokes.”

On Buttigieg’s Youthfulness. In this same Opinion piece in The New York Times, Nicole Hemmer commented about Pete Buttigieg, “He was trying to be the adult in the room, but by the end of the debate he was giving off strong annoying-little-brother energy.”

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On Buttigieg’s Assets. Another of the Opinion writers, Nicholas Kristof wrote, “Nobody is better at soaring rhetoric or at amusing put-downs. If I’m ever stabbed in the back, I hope it’s by a smiling Pete.”

On Biden’s Articulateness. Said Bret Stephens, “Here’s the deal: He’s not as verbally incontinent as you remember.”

Ouch. To his credit, Biden was the only participant to pay any heed whatsoever to the debate’s time limits.

A Modest Suggestion. Why not simply cut off the mic when a speaker blatantly abuses a time limit? This would cause chaos when first employed, but I’d bet debaters would get the message. ds

© Dennis Simanaitis,, 2020

2 comments on “AN AMUSING SIDE TO IT ALL

  1. Mike B
    March 1, 2020

    Was it one of the candidates in the Nevada debate? I don’t remember, But I do remember the line: Nevada’s feeling the Bern, and it’s not just from a one-night stand!

  2. fred vainas
    March 8, 2020

    “Why not simply cut off the mic when a speaker blatantly abuses a time limit?” Yes!! And do it on the news shows that have eight people all talking at once. Sometimes when they put them all in little graphics boxes it looks like a less funny remake of the Hollywood Squares.

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