Simanaitis Says

On cars, old, new and future; science & technology; vintage airplanes, computer flight simulation of them; Sherlockiana; our English language; travel; and other stuff


I WOULDN’T WANT this website’s occasional niceties to get in the way of reality. Thus, here I offer a book review replete with tidbits of its dissing. What with one thing and another, it evolved into Parts 1 and 2 today and tomorrow.  

Barbed Quotes: Mudslinging, Backstabbing, and Celebrity Dirt Dishing, compiled by Colin M. Jarman, Contemporary Books, 1999.

Let’s jump right in, with acknowledgements to Colin M. Jarman and his well-deserved “King of Quotes” reputation.

Anonymous. If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.—Anonymous.

Lady Godiva, by Oleg Litvak. Image from Fine Art America.

Brook Shields. Suddenly Susan (1997)—That’s quite some feat she pulled off, getting acted off the screen by Judd Nelson.—The Vidiots.

Chuck Norris. An actor whose lack of expression is so profound that it could be mistaken for icily controlled technique.—Nicholas Lezard The Times of London.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a condom filled with walnuts.—Clive James.

Edith Evans. She took her curtain calls as though she had just been un-nailed from the cross.—Noël Coward.

Pamela Anderson. A former classmate of Pamela’s said that in high school she was flat-chested. That’s shocking—I had no idea she had graduated high school.—Conan O’Brien “The Late Show” 1966.

Pamala Anderson. Images from People.

Yet, apparently, one can be too nice.

Nancy Reagan. The Next Voice You Hear (1950)—She projected all the passion of a Good Humor ice cream: frozen, on a stick, and all vanilla.—Alexander Walker London Evening Standard.

Dinah Shore. Watching Dinah Shore for just one week is like being imprisoned inside a giant butterscotch sundae.—Harry Walters, Newsweek.

Julie Andrews. There’s a kind of flowering dullness about her, a boredom in rowdy bloom.—Joyce Haber.

On the other hand, maybe not….

Rock Hudson. During filming of Darling Lily (1970)—Remember, I’m the leading lady.—Julie Andrews.

Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins. Image from

Daughter Suz remembers Mary Poppins with great fondness. I believe she would defend Andrews’ rowdy bloom as well. 

Ingrid Bergman. Turning down the role of Rick in Casablanca—I don’t want to star opposite an unknown Swedish broad.—George Raft.

I wonder what Raft would have thought of Greta Garbo.

Greta Garbo. Dry and Drafty, like an abandoned temple.—Truman Capote. 

Greta Garbo. Image from

Maybe Capote felt pouty because Garbo was considerably taller (5 ft. 7 versus 5 ft. 3). For the record, Raft was 5 ft. 7 too.

Gee, this is fun. Join me in Part 2 tomorrow with more of the same. ds

© Dennis Simanaitis,, 2022

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: