Simanaitis Says

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THE GANG THAT COULDN’T SUE STRAIGHT PART 2

YESTERDAY, TRUMP’s LEGAL eagles soared into misunderstanding concerning the letter “M” and Rudy the Mouthpiece found himself mistakenly in North Philly. Today, his moniker changes to Rudy the Drip, and then there’s someone who apparently even outdoes Rudy. 

Rudy the Drip. In reporting “All the News That’s Fit to Print,” The New York Times asked hairdressers to weigh in on Giuliani’s drip problem. Jonah Engel Bromwich reported, November 19, 2020: “Rudolph W. Giuliani gave a news conference on Thursday in which, as he continued to cast doubt on the results of the presidential election, it appeared he was starting to melt.”

Image by Drew Angerer/Getty Images from The New York Times, November 19, 2020.

“By the time Mr. Giuliani began to take questions from reporters,” Bromwich observed, “the dark rivulets of liquid streaking down his face had become impossible to ignore, even as he pleaded with those present not to make light of his claims, for which he has yet to present evidence.”

Experts on such cosmetological matters suggest a just-applied dye job or mascara or touch-up pen. I’m relieved he wasn’t imitating a not inappropriate Nazi meltdown as seen in Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981.  

Out Rudy’d Rudy. As described in The Guardian, November 22, 2020, “Perhaps Sidney Powell had gone too far for Rudy Giuliani this time.” 

High praise, indeed. 

The Guardian wrote, “The Trump campaign’s legal team has moved to distance itself from the firebrand conservative attorney after a tumultuous few days in which Powell made multiple incorrect statements about the election voting process, unspooled complex conspiracy theories and vowed to ‘blow up’ Georgia with a ‘biblical’ lawsuit.”

Attorney Sidney Powell (in, we hope, faux ocelot) speaks alongside Rudy Giuliani. Image by Jim Lo Scalzo/EPA from The Guardian, November 22, 2020.

Powell’s best line came when she claimed there was a German software company whose software corrupting votes in Georgia and other states was created at the direction of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.

Hugo Chavez, a Socialist, need I add, died in 2013.

As I’ve noted before, the good lines keep on coming. I’ll be almost sorry to see January 20, 2021, arrive. Almost. ds 

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2020 

One comment on “THE GANG THAT COULDN’T SUE STRAIGHT PART 2

  1. Mark W
    November 29, 2020

    Almost….

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