Simanaitis Says

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THE GANG THAT COULDN’T SUE STRAIGHT PART 1

WITH DUE RESPECT (and a recommendation) for Jimmy Breslin’s The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, I offer tidbits not only as timely as today’s headlines. Indeed, they are recent headlines, and as copious as to require Parts 1 and 2 here today and tomorrow.

Thankfully (on two days after Thanksgiving), Trump and his gang has been less than successful so far in attempting to overthrow the will of the electorate. Not without the electorate’s humor, however, even with Trump’s abject threat of destroying democracy.

Geographic Deficiencies. As reported by The New York Times, November 22, 2020, “An affidavit filed by President Trump’s legal team intended to prove voter fraud in Michigan apparently used data taken from counties in Minnesota, the latest in a series of embarrassing missteps that have made Mr. Trump’s uphill legal fight even steeper. On Wednesday, L. Lin Wood, an Atlanta lawyer working with the team, filed an analysis from Russell Ramsland, a failed Republican congressional candidate and self-proclaimed election fraud expert, purporting to show suspiciously high turnout in blue areas of Michigan.”

However, The New York Times reported, “When the editors of Powerline, a conservative legal website whose contributors hail from Minnesota and other parts of the Upper Midwest, reviewed the nine-page document, they discovered a major problem: Many municipalities cited in the Michigan document—Monticello, Albertville, Lake Lillian, Houston, Brownsville, Runeberg, Wolf Lake, Height of Land, Detroit Lakes, Frazee, Kandiyohi—are located in an entirely different “M” state, Minnesota.”

Minnesota, purple. Michigan, gray. Image from touropia.com.

Gee, I guess we should be thankful that those Trump legal experts didn’t include the counties of Penobscot (Maine), Queen Anne’s (Maryland), Nantucket (Massachusetts), Choctaw (Mississippi), Gasconade (Missouri), or Big Horn (Montana). They are, after all, in other “M” states. 

By the way, five of these other “M” states have a Franklin County. And Minnesota has one named for Millard Fillmore, thirteenth and the most ridiculed president, before Trump, that is. Odd, because Fillmore wasn’t even a Minnesotan; he was a New Yorker. The state, not The City.

Rudy the Mouthpiece for All Four Seasons. As described in the Independent, November 9, 2020, “At his bizarre press conference outside Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia, Rudy Giuliani called up several witnesses to testify of alleged irregularities at vote-counting facilities – and one, it turns out, is a convicted sex offender.”

The Independent reported, “Poll watcher Darryl Mikell Brooks was convicted in the 1990s of sexual assault, lewdness and endangering the welfare of a minor. He was charged with exposing himself to two girls aged seven and 11, although he has always maintained his innocence.” 

Quite apart from an apparently less-than-full vetting of Mr. Brooks, there’s poetic justice in this: Was Philly’s posh Four Seasons Hotel originally the intended conference site? As reported by NPR, “It’s still not entirely clear how the Trump campaign ended up holding a press conference in Northeast Philadelphia near a sex shop, a crematorium and a jail. The hoopla was kicked off Saturday morning with a Trump tweet about an event at the Philadelphia Four Seasons.”

NPR noted, “That message was quickly deleted and a new tweet clarified that instead of the swanky downtown hotel, the presser would be held at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a business that offers services such as mulching, weed control, pruning shrubs and leaf removal, among other jobs.” And, later, offering “Make America Rake Again” and “Lawn and Order” merchandise.  

Rudy Giuliani speaks in the rear parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia. Image by Chris McGrath/Getty Images from NPR.

“At the press event,” NPR continued, “Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani claimed without evidence that Joe Biden’s victory in Pennsylvania was due to voter fraud. Four Seasons Total Landscaping declined requests for comment.” 

No fools, Four Seasons Total Landscaping. 

Tomorrow in Part 2, we’ll see antics that are not only erroneous, but downright wacko. Are you surprised that Rudy Giuliani is involved? ds 

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2020 

2 comments on “THE GANG THAT COULDN’T SUE STRAIGHT PART 1

  1. Valter Prieto Jr
    November 29, 2020

    It’s in reality a difference among the bad and the horrible. Anything near left side of politic ideas is horrible, dictatorial, freedom-destroyer. Brazil (my country) escaped of 13 years of disgrace, corrupt monsters, but some ignorant people try to go back to darkness. Here is US is the same. Four year of some problems but far from darkness, and many intelligent people trying to get rid of the bad and march to the horror. Better fix the bad. Poor America.

    • simanaitissays
      November 29, 2020

      Our election indicates that considerably more than half the American people disagree with you. I certainly do. “Some problems”?

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