WHY DO I THINK OF A PETULANT PUERILE MOBSTER?

THANKS TO SiriusXM “Radio Classics” and Turner Movie Classics, I am not without knowledge about gangster portrayals of yore. Perhaps you know the type: amoral to an extreme, full of resentment, heavy on retribution, highly untrustworthy.

Many of these mobsters appear startlingly competent until the last reel, especially in post-Code presentations. Occasionally, though, they are doofuses (or is that doofi?) from the start: See, for example, “The Gang That Couldn’t Sue Straight” here at SimanaitisSays.

Or recall recent headlines, but first consult Merriam-Webster’s definitions of “petulant” and “puerile.” 

Petulant. M-W defines “petulant” as “1: characterized by impatience and grumpy annoyance. Also: suggesting such an emotional state. 2: showing or tending to show an attitude of haughty annoyance.” What’s more, “Petulant may have changed its meaning over the years, but it has retained its status as ‘word most people would not use to describe themselves in a job interview.…’ Today the word is most commonly used to describe someone acting snippy and snippety, snappish and snappy, displaying an often childish ill or short temper of the kind that tends to arise from annoyance at not getting one’s way.”

Hmm…. Remind you of anyone?

Puerile. M-W defines “puerile” as “1: juvenile. 2: childish, silly.” Furthermore, “Nowadays, puerile can describe the acts or utterances of an actual child, but it more often refers (usually with marked disapproval) to occurrences of childishness where adult maturity would be expected or preferred.” 

Repeated hmm….

Words of a Petulant Puerile Mobster? For example, in a message to the Prime Minister of Norway: “Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace…..”

Here are all the signs of a school bully not getting his own way, not to say apparently unaware of the distinction between the Norwegian government and the Noble Prize committees (one for each of Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature, and Peace). On the other hand, separation of powers has never been a long suit of this particular “very stable genius.”

A Quote from Geography 101? “I mean, our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland. So Iceland has already cost us a lot of money.”

I guess this is not the first kid to confuse these two North Atlantic locales: Iceland is a parliamentary representative democratic country. Greenland is an autonomous territory of the Kingdom of Denmark.

Above, the flag and coat of arms of Greenland. Below, the flag and coat of arms of Iceland.

Greenland is the largest non-continental landmass in the world. (Mainland Australia is sometimes defined as an island as well as a continent. Antarctica is a special case because, discounting ice, it comprises several landmasses). 

Because of distortion of the Mercator projection, Greenland looks even larger on this conformal cylindrical flat projection (as large as Africa, it seems). 

Image by Strebe from Wikipedia.

Greenland’s total area is 836,330 sq mi, of which 81 percent is its ice sheet. To put this in perspective, Alaska’s total area is 663,268 sq mi (almost 80 percent as large as Greenland), with glacier ice comprising only 4.4 percent of its area.

Back to Quotes from Gangster Flicks. Examples: “I would like to make a deal the easy way, but if we don’t do it the easy way, we’re going to do it the hard way….”

Pure James Cagney to me. Sans his terpsichorean talents.

And I hear Brando’s raspy, gravely Godfather whisper: “So they have a choice. You can say yes, and we will be very appreciative, or you can say no, and we will remember.”

I remember as well: “Trump on History—160 Years Ago, 5 Years Ago, and January 7, 2026.”

And so does the Editorial Board of The New York Times: “The World Will Remember Trump’s Greenland Outburst,”January 24, 2026: “Mr. Trump’s apologists once dismissed his bullying of Greenland as an attempt at humor. Instead, it has been something far darker. His immoral threats against a loyal NATO ally have escalated a crisis in U.S.-European relations, weakened one of history’s most successful alliances and hurt American interests in tangible ways.”

Furthermore, it writes, “Mr. Trump has always been an undisciplined and unprincipled politician, but the shambolic and sometimes illegal nature of his foreign policy moves of the past few weeks has been unusually harmful.” 

The Editorial Board concludes, “Mr. Trump has a habit of declaring national emergencies on dubious pretenses to justify his policies. His reckless assault on a pillar of our national security and abandonment of longtime allies are the true national emergencies. Leaders in Beijing and Moscow are no doubt thrilled. America is less safe than it was a week ago.”

And What About TACO?  I recall gangster Cagney’s pretending abject fear on the way to the chair; this, for the benefit of kids. But what of Trump’s “Framework of a Future Deal”? Is this TACO only a petulant, puerile mobster getting his breath for a next tantrum? ds

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2026