BOXIES I HAVE KNOWN

WHETHER RANCH WAGONS, MPVS, ESTATES, SHOOTING BRAKES or whatever, I’ve been on good terms with boxy automotive shapes. Classic & Sports Cars Online jogged my memory about this with “20 Super Seven-Seat Classic Cars,” not that I’ve ever used the ones I’ve known for that many folks at a single time. Here are tidbits  about them in the cars’ chronological order (and, more or less, in my experiences with them). 

Ford Ranch Wagon. I won a Ford Ranch Wagon in 1967. This good fortune came through a local dealership celebrating its 13th anniversary. Why they chose this oddly numbered celebration I do not know. But I do recall when the guy called that I had won, he added, “Don’t get your hopes up because, like our dealership, the car is 13 year old.”

1954 Ford Ranch Wagon. My winning car was the same color.    

The “Ranch” of Ranch Wagon differentiated it from Station Wagons having faux wood panels (or, originally, structure of wood itself). My ’54 had a V-8, a 3-speed stick, and sufficient gaps in its rusted door panels to allow a view of the street below. I commuted to grad school with it for a while, used it to move the family a few blocks, and then one day its left front suspension gave way as I entered a driveway. 

By the way, one of the Classic & Sports Car beauties was a 1950 Ford Country Squire, somehow a classier name than Ranch Wagon. 

1950 Ford Country Squire. Image from Classic & Sports Car. 

Volvo 122S Wagon. I described my next boxy design here at SimanaitisSays in “Can It! But Keep the Opener.” Acquisition of a late-’60s Volvo 122S Wagon came shortly after arriving on St. Thomas in the Caribbean. I recall chickens pecking around in the makeshift car lot. 

Here’s a 1968 sibling of my 122S Wagon. Image from Bring A Trailer.

A sturdy car, with exception of an exhaust system getting occasionally perforated by rocks and rust. And, yes, epoxy-swabbed beer cans held in place with radiator clamps did a great job when the nearest Volvo dealer was in Puerto Rico, maybe.

I had lots of experience with Volkswagen Buses and Transporters on STT, but owned only a Beetle and the Volvo. Until….

My Foreign Pinto Wagon. In the summer of 1973 I bought a Ford Pinto Wagon in Cleveland, drove it to Miami, and had it shipped over to STT. 

Here’s a sibling, even to its trick alloy wheels. This image from Barn Finds.

STT had (and likely retains) an odd customs deal of a certain fixed percent ad valorem of anything imported. This made European booze, watches, and the like a real bargain. It also surprised the hell out of me when the customs agent identified my Pinto as a product of a Ford Canadian facility and thus liable to the import tax. I recall throwing my motorcycle helmet across the dock. 

The Pinto returned to the mainland (at no added tax). It and I became the local SCCA Autocross hotshots in class (i.e., among Pintos and other small sedans). I suspect a lot had to do with the wagon’s weight distribution being less nose-heavy.

 A Borrowed Renault Espace. On one of my R&T press junkets/early-retirement stayovers, I borrowed a Renault Espace, another of the C & SC classics: “The seminal seven-seater?” the magazine writes, “Quite possibly, because the Renault Espace’s influence over MPVs and versatile family cars is still being felt today.”

1984 Renault Espace. Image from Classic & Sports Car.

A Pair of Mini Mokes. One on STT, the other driven “From Sea to Shining Sea” offered entertainment and utility of another sort entirely. 

Here’s my second Moke at the Biltmore, Asheville, North Carolina.

Mokes were boxy, sorta. ds

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2023