CELEBRATING HUMOR IN SEX PART 1

EARLY ON WITH SIMANAITISSAYS, I OPTED to keep topics acceptable to my grandkids. These days, now that Lily and Carter are both in college, I figure what the hell. And in scanning my book shelves, I came upon Gyles Brandreth’s Even Greater Sexual Disasters. Despite the book’s having been first published in England in 1987—and my 1988 edition looking sparklingly bright and clean—it’s still screamingly funny and well worth a review today.

Even Greater Sexual Disasters, by Gyles Brandreth, Cartoons by Ed McLachlan, Grafton Books, 1988.

Wikipedia recounts that Gyles Brandreth’s noteworthy accomplishments include having “written a series of seven works of historical fiction called The Oscar Wilde Murder Mysteries, casting Oscar Wilde as working with both Robert Sherard and Arthur Conan Doyle…. [I must search these out.] Brandreth is a former European Monopoly champion. He was also an Honorary President of the Association of British Scrabble Players…..”

Gyles Daubeney Brandreth, Wuppertal, Germany-born 1948, British broadcaster, writer and former politician. He has worked as a television presenter, theatre producer, journalist, author and publisher. Image, 2022, by Edwardx via Wikipedia.

Also, Wikipedia observes, “In August and September 2017, Brandreth, his son Benet and daughter-in-law Kosha Engler staged a very truncated (90 minute, instead of a more usual three hours) production of Hamlet at the Park Theatre in Finsbury Park, London…. The production is available on YouTube.”

Certainly accomplishments to be respected. And I haven’t even mentioned his co-establishing Gyles & George knitwear back in the 1980s. 

Here, in Parts 1 and 2 today and tomorrow, are tidbits gleaned from Even Greater Sexual Disasters, a followup to A Bedside Book of Great Sexual Disasters (and what better place to keep such a book?). All comments following in quotes are Brandreth’s.

The Bard’s Bed-Hopping. “Even in Shakespeare’s day actors were sex symbols. Richard Burbage was playing Richard III one night at the Globe and so captivated some female member of the audience that she went backstage during the interval and invited him to her home for a good time after the show.” 

“Shakespeare overheard the plans for the assignation and nipped out of the theatre before the final curtain to beat Burbage to bed. The lady must have been happy to accept the Bard as a substitute lover because they were hard at it when Burbage arrived announcing himself as Richard III.”

“When this information was brought to the lady’s bedroom, Shakespeare told the maid to give the answer that William the Conquerer had come before Richard III.”

I’m reminded of the poem that pal David Roberts taught me years ago: “Willie, Willie, Harry, Ste….”

I’ll Have What He’s Drinking. “Investigations by Harvard Medical School reveal that throughout the Third World, Coca-Cola is used as a contraceptive douche. Experiments indicate that it is surprisingly effective.”

Image by Ed McLachlan in Even Greater Sexual Disasters.

“Ordinary Coke killed 91 per cent of sperm and Diet Coke was even more effective, killing 100 per cent. However the new formula, widely introduced in 1984, was only 42 per cent effective. The Coca-Cola company has no plans to exploit the contraceptive powers of its products, however. ‘We make no claims in this direction,’ said a spokesman.” 

A Related Reference in SimanaitisSays. Another humorous Brit Edward Brooke-Hitching wrote about Paul Lyons being issued a patent in 1993 for his ‘force-sensitive, sound-playing condom, though he elegantly said he wouldn’t want to go around telling everyone I’ve succeeded in this area.’

Tomorrow in Part 2, Brandreth shares tales of German fixations, Sicilian hot-headedness, and a wrong St. Valentine. ds 

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2026