A WONDERFUL GIGGLE

PATRICIA MARX HAS IDENTIFIED “TRUMP’S TO-UNDO LIST” coming in The New Yorker, June 23, 2025. If you’re not already a subscriber, I encourage you to buy a copy as an excellent example of a wonderful giggle. The cover alone is worth posting on the fridge:

Quoted here are my fav gleanings from Patricia Marx’s article. 

“Abolish amendments. Makes Constitution look weak…. Nobody even knows what the Fourteenth means. Let’s go back to first draft.”

Ha. Another argument in favor of originalism.

“I never said all amendments. Gun one’s a keeper. And that fun thing about quartering soldiers. Rest go! Freedom of speech? You’re going to pay for it. Double for pronouns.”

“Mules must use mule bathrooms. Not horse, not donkey bathroom—birth-species bathroom!”

“No more brown or yellow M&M’s. Low I.Q., emotionally unstable. Send back to factory—probably in shithole countries like Massachusetts. WHITE M&M’s only! Merit-based.”

Illustration by Luci Gutiérrez in The New Yorker.

“Pull out of solar system. U.S. only planet paying fair share—probably more. We gave them satellites and moon flag. If they want us back, they’ll have to make deal.” 

“Fire Founding Fathers. They wore wigs. Losers! Find out if Pete Hegseth wears a wig.” 

“End Hundred Years’ War in one day. Retroactively. Nobody’s ever done that!“

Ha. Sorta like the Gulf of You Know Where. 

“Sue myself, call it witch hunt. Pay legal fees with Harvard funding, hire Wharton Mar-a-Lago to write case study, bundle it with ‘Art of the Deal,’ sell as N.F.T. Win-win-win!”

This Just In. By the way, I just read a Reuters item titled “Trump Family in Phone Service Licensing Deal, Touts a $499 Device,” June 16, 2025.  Hannah Lang, Michelle Conlin, and Akash Sriram report, “Donald Trump’s family business licensed its name to launch a U.S. mobile service and a $499 smartphone on Monday, calling it Trump Mobile, in the latest deal brokered by the president’s children to capitalize on his last name while he is in office.”

 

The Reuters researchers recount, “It was not known which U.S.-based company could deliver a phone at $499, a feat that has eluded the world’s largest phone makers, including Apple. Despite the strength of U.S.-based tech brands, there is no significant domestic smartphone production infrastructure, largely due to high labor costs, supply chain complexity, and reliance on overseas component sourcing.”

I close with recalling my own modest contribution to this chaos: “The Most Happy Felon—A Screenplay.”

Thanks, Patricia Marx, for a really good giggle. And Reuters for a warning. ds 

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2025