TRUMP’S CABINET—A SATIRICAL VIEW PART 1

THIS ALL BEGAN with the NBC NEWS headline, August 22, 2024, “RFK Jr. as Trump’s Health Secretary? Here’s What He Wants to Do.”

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Image from NBC News.

Brandy Zadrozny writes, “Kennedy ended his independent presidential campaign Friday and endorsed former President Donald Trump. While announcing his decision, Kennedy said Trump had ‘asked to enlist me in his administration,’ though Kennedy did not specify a role.”

“On Tuesday,” Zadrozny continues, “Kennedy’s running mate, Nicole Shanahan, told an interviewer the campaign was weighing whether to ‘join forces’ with Trump and suggested that Kennedy would do an ‘incredible job’ as Secretary of Health and Human Services. Trump later told CNN that he ‘probably would’ appoint Kennedy to some role.”

By the way, the “Kennedy would do an ‘incredible job’ ” link goes to a YouTube interview with Nicole Shanahan posted by Tom Bilyeu. I watched its opening (the thing is 57:19) and all I could think of was “weird.”

This got me thinking of composing, just for satiric fun, a selection of Trump’s cabinet-to-be (God forbid). It’s such fun that it evolved into Parts 1 and 2 today and tomorrow.

Though No Easy Matter. It’s not just reappointing people from Trump’s previous administration, because indeed a number of these individuals may not be on speaking terms—let alone sucking-up ones—with the ex-President. Or maybe their parole officers objected.

Even the official government website trumpwhitehouse.archives.gov is telling in this regard: Of the 23 cabinet members cited, 3 were already listed as “acting” positions. And these days apparently, Mike Pense and Mark Meadows aren’t exactly MAGAs.

But no matter. There is still a surfeit of those more or less “qualified.” (See above, “sucking-up.”) To wit:

Department of Health and Human Services. What better choice than RFK Jr.? An anti-vaxxer teamed with a bleach-suggesting Covid-hoax proponent. Wikipedia recounts, “Kennedy is a prominent voice in the anti-vaccine movement, spreading anti-vaccine misinformation, disinformation, and propaganda.”

Why Believe This Crap? Wikipedia continues, “The infectious disease specialist Michael Osterholm has said that Kennedy’s ‘anti-vaccine disinformation’ is effective ‘because it’s portrayed to the public with graphs and figures and what appears to be scientific data. He has perfected the art of illusion of fact.’ Osterholm added: ‘this is about people’s lives. And the consequences of promoting this kind of disinformation, as credible as it may seem, is simply dangerous.’ ”

Charles Betha’s “Among America’s ‘Low-Information Voters,” in The New Yorker, August 22, 2024, is spot-on in this regard.

Department of Justice. An easy-peasy one: Rudolf Giuliani, of course. What? He’s disbarred in New York? No big deal; I’m sure Florida would give him a cert. 

What with his famous Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference, Giuliani would also be in the running for Department of Agriculture as well.

Rudy Giuliani. Image by Jacquelyn Martin/AP from rfi.

Running? Sorry about that.

This is fun. We’ll continue tomorrow in Part 2 with some easy choices and one long shot. ds

© Dennis Simanaitis, SimanaitisSays.com, 2024